When I was in high school, I fell in love with a little company called Toms. You may have heard of it. The idea of One- for-One, the business plan, the desire to help put shoes on the feet of children, it seemed like the coolest and most impactful business I had ever heard of. So much so, that I looked into jobs with them in college. I didn’t exactly want to move far away, so that fell through. But there are kids who need shoes in my community, after all.
What was also happening in high school, and way before, was that I doodled on everything. I specifically remember a pair of jeans that I drew all over, the times I got in trouble for drawing on myself, and the four semesters of art I got to have. Drawing, painting, all the crafts: That’s how I’ve always survived my anxiety.
So with the passion of wanting to help communities, and the passion to create art, what’s a girl to do? I didn’t like the idea of graphic design, for me anyway, because art is my safe place and I did NOT want to get into the corporate world. I don’t want anyone critiquing, or rejecting me. I draw to get over anxiety, not to add more on.
It occurred to me in my sophomore year that I can’t really help people, if I don’t really know people. So I went to college for psychology, and loved every minute of it. I learned a lot about how and why bad things happen, the systems that help and hinder them, and the organizations that are already in place to help. I had to know the back story before I dove in.
And then...
One of my wonderful, most impactful professors introduced me to something. A little show called Adam Ruins Everything. It is all about taking myths and ideas in our world, and breaking them down, all based on research. Right. Up. My. Alley.
I loved it. Until... Adam ruined everything for me.
THIS IS THE LINK:
https://youtu.be/hX0g66MWbrk - Watch the clip. Even if you don’t finish my post, watch this clip.
Adam. Ruins. TOMS?!?!?!
Imagine sitting in your college classroom and learning that the company that you love so dearly, while having good intentions, actually caused more harm than good. Imagine realizing that you were one of the condescending misinformed customers! Imagine having to check yourself, and all your dreams, in the middle of a lecture hall.
I was floored.
I didn’t think about the other needs in those communities. I didn’t think about the shoe makers or shoe store owners that lost their jobs because of this beautiful, ill devised, company. I didn’t think about the exploitation of these beautiful, poverty ridden kids and their families.
I don’t hate Toms, don’t get me wrong. There is beauty in good intentions. But I believe there’s a saying about where the road paved with good intentions may take you...
What the clip doesn’t show is, at the end of the episode, Adam speaks with professionals, and they all say one thing: the best way to help communities is to fund organizations within them.
It’s not that Toms is evil necessarily, but that someone unqualified or misinformed tried to help in a way that... kinda didn’t. It wasn’t the intent that was the problem. It was giving resources that the communities didn’t need.
Okay cool. So now I don’t want to work for Toms! What do I do what that information?!
Well, I start by thinking about issues and organizations I do want to work with. More importantly, issues that I know about, and that affect me and those around me.
So, as a woman, I jumped head first into Sexual Assault Awareness. I’m not going to get into all the statistics and research and anecdotal stories I have. You’ve all seen the Me Too movement, the Larry Nassar trial, the stories of women AND men just coming to terms with their childhood abuse. You’ve all heard the stories. I would guarantee you all know someone impacted.
I loved brining awareness and support to that community. It was hard. It was draining. But it was the most impactful experience in my life to date. But it also turns out, that someone with high levels of anxiety, and possibly repressed trauma, probably isn’t the best person to work in a high stress environment 365 days a year.
Okay, so what do we do now?!?!
I can’t work at Toms.
I don’t want to be a graphic designer.
My mental health can’t handle the environment that helps the issues I care about.
Now, what?!?!?!!
Now, I jump into the world of Volunteer Coordinating! WAHOO... until I hit the concrete wall that was 2020.
Just like many of you, after just two months of a job I felt comfortable and ready for, I lost it. Turns out, it wasn’t Adam, it was Covid that ruins everything.
But, as I’ve said in previous posts, I think God really was trying to do something.
He said, “listen. I know the plan. I know the story. And you’re not listening. So I’m going to make you sit on your butt for FOUR MONTHS, and just reflect.”
So that’s what I did. For four months, all day everyday, it was me, my dog Tidus, Netflix, paint, colored pencils, Tik Tok, and Reed.
I studied.
I prayed.
I painted.
I doodled.
I rested- A LOT. Which in hindsight, was needed.
I had four months of self care, love, growing, and reflection.
Within those four months, destruction came through my community in the form of a tornado. I was devastated. But more than anything, I wanted to help. I decided I’d try to make t-shirts, of a design I made in college. People were interested! No, people were demanding t-shirts. Finally! A purpose to all this madness!
But God said, “Not! Yet! You’re not ready. Not like this.” and everything fell through.
And I went back to work as a receptionist. Less responsibilities, more time to reflect, and more time to get my priorities in check.
By month six, I was ready to get back to the dirty work. Some people call it being an empath, some people call it discernment. I don’t know what to call it, but when you constantly have the concerns for your community on your heart, after a while, you feel like you need to sprint to fix it, and I didn’t feel like I was doing enough behind a desk in a lobby.
I’ll save you the story on all the research and planning I did for The Humble Hope. Tax IDs, 3rd party distributors, and online platforms are the least important part of the story about this community. But, I did it.
I couldn’t start a mission like this without it coming full circle. It didn’t feel right to help any other organizations than Advocacy Centers in our area, because they’re the ones who helped mold me. I TRULY saw the impact of violence and abuse in our area in those two years, more close up than most of you want to hear about. They had to be the first.
So now, here I am, day three of The Humble Hope being live, sobbing every hour, realizing my dreams can happen. Every bump in the road, every concrete wall, every ill informed decision, it all makes sense.
In the first two days, we’ve raised $300 dollars for Sexual Assault Centers and Child Advocacy Centers in the Chattanooga and North Georgia area.
I’ve done fundraisers for these organizations before, and sometimes we were lucky to hit $50, during an event that costs us months, even a year, to plan. I don’t think you all understand what $300 can do.
So again, thank you.
Thank you for listening to my story for the last year.
Thank you for listening to their stories now.
These survivors have some extraordinary stories, that I hope one day, they’re ready to tell. I hope somehow, even in the littlest of ways, The Humble Hope makes an impact in their healing.
So stick around here. I’m not going anywhere on this platform.
I’ll still have plenty of Extra Ordinary stories, and so many more to come, and I still don’t want to overload my Facebook feed with them.
And we’ll bring hope:
one piece sold
one story told
one person at a time. 💗